AwfulGames

Undeniable Adult Truths

Mr. Awful — Wed, 05 Jan 2011 14:23:47 +0000

I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.(...)
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How Come Daddy’s Got So Few Hairs?

Mr. Awful — Tue, 12 Oct 2010 10:18:16 +0000

Little Johnny was eating breakfast one morning and got to thinking about things. “Mommy, how come daddy’s got so few hairs on his head?” he asked his mother.(...)
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He Threw a Rock at Me

Mr. Awful — Tue, 12 Oct 2010 10:16:42 +0000

“I’m ashamed of you,” the mother said. “Fighting with your best friend is a terrible thing to do!”

“He threw a rock at me!” the boy said. “So I threw one at him.”(...)
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How to Cure a Cold

Mr. Awful — Tue, 12 Oct 2010 10:14:29 +0000

A man went to see his doctor because he was suffering from a miserable cold. His doctor prescribed some pills, but they didn’t help.(...)
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Two Kids on a Scavenger Hunt

Mr. Awful — Tue, 12 Oct 2010 10:13:06 +0000

A woman answered her front door and found two little boys holding a list. “Lady,” one of them explained, “we’re on a scavenger hunt, and we still need three grains of wheat, a pork-chop bone and a piece of used carbon paper(...)
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We Can’t Help — We’re Dead

Mr. Awful — Tue, 12 Oct 2010 10:11:38 +0000

During an Army war game a commanding officer’s jeep got stuck in the mud. The C.O. saw some men lounging around nearby and asked them to help him get unstuck.(...)
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Dad’s Rules for Using the Car

Mr. Awful — Tue, 12 Oct 2010 10:09:11 +0000

A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss his use of the car.(...)
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If You Don’t Stop Sucking Your Thumb…

Mr. Awful — Tue, 12 Oct 2010 10:05:26 +0000

A boy had reached the age of four without giving up his thumb-sucking habit, though his mother had tried everything from bribery to reasoning to painting it with lemon juice to discourage him.(...)
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How Many Women Can a Man Marry?

Mr. Awful — Tue, 12 Oct 2010 10:03:25 +0000

A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, “How many women can a man marry?”(...)
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What the Beer Presidents Ordered

Mr. Awful — Tue, 12 Oct 2010 10:02:17 +0000

After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. The guy from Corona sits down and says, “Hey Senor, I would like the world’s best, a Corona.”(...)
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Mechanic vs. Heart Surgeon

Mr. Awful — Tue, 12 Oct 2010 10:00:25 +0000

Morris the loudmouth mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car when he spotted the famous heart surgeon Dr. Michael DeBakey, who was standing off to the side waiting for (...)
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The Kangaroo’s Fence at the Zoo

Mr. Awful — Tue, 12 Oct 2010 09:57:41 +0000

A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo.

Knowing that he could hop high, the zoo officials put up a ten-foot fence. He was out the next morning, just roaming around the zoo. A twenty-foot fence was put up. Again he got out.(...)
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How to Clean a Cat: An 8-Step Process

Mr. Awful — Tue, 12 Oct 2010 03:20:12 +0000

The following list shows the proper steps for cleaning a cat.(...)
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Whose Dog Is This, Anyway?

Mr. Awful — Tue, 12 Oct 2010 01:23:23 +0000

One afternoon, I was in the backyard hanging the laundry when an old, tired-looking dog wandered into the yard.(...)
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Cinderella’s Final Three Wishes

Mr. Awful — Mon, 11 Oct 2010 04:46:07 +0000

Cinderella, now a widow at 95 years old, has had a fulfilling life. She happily sits upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch. Beside her sits her faithful cat, Bob.(...)
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Three Smiling Dead Guys

Mr. Awful — Mon, 11 Oct 2010 04:42:53 +0000

Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces. The police are perplexed, so the coroner calls them in to explain what happened.(...)
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The Norwegian Firefighters

Mr. Awful — Mon, 11 Oct 2010 04:13:14 +0000

One dark night outside a small town in Minnesota, a fire started inside the local chemical plant. In the blink of an eye, it exploded into massive flames! The alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles around.(...)
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An Elephant Walks Into a Piano Bar…

Mr. Awful — Mon, 11 Oct 2010 04:08:10 +0000

An elephant walks into a piano bar and sits down to listen. Pretty soon, he starts to sob uncontrollably.(...)
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The REAL Story of Adam and Eve

Mr. Awful — Mon, 11 Oct 2010 04:04:13 +0000

Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God had to deal with His own disobedient children: Adam and Eve.(...)
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Green Pills, Red Pills and Blue Pills

Mr. Awful — Mon, 11 Oct 2010 03:56:40 +0000

One afternoon, a man goes to his doctor and tells him that he hasn’t been feeling well lately. The doctor examines the man, leaves the room, and comes back with three different bottles of pills.(...)
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